


faith

by thisissirius



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Huddling For Warmth, Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 00:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13155645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: Snow, Alec thinks. They’re surrounded by snow.Clary keeps one hand on his face, something he thinks he can feel if he focuses on it hard enough.Magnus is coming.





	faith

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hazelNuts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelNuts/gifts).



> i hope this is what you wanted from those prompts you left :)
> 
> i had a lot of fun writing it. 
> 
> thank you so much to tothebitterend for beta duties :D

It’s  _ cold _ .

  
  


Alec’s fingers are numb. He can’t feel his toes. His teeth won’t stop chattering. 

_ I can’t remember what to do. _

There’s something hard under his cheek. It’s cold, makes his body want to burst itself into unconsciousness. He wants to curl up tighter, but he can’t move. 

_ Pretty sure we have to light a fire. _

Fire. Alec lets out a soft noise, desperate for warmth. 

He tries to move his fingers, can’t make them work. 

_ It’s gonna be alright _ .

Probably not. 

Cynicism is comfortable, Alec thinks. He can’t think about much beyond  _ cold _ , but that much he knows. 

This time he tries his mouth, can’t make it work. 

Alec lets out another noise, thankful at least that his throat is doing  _ something _ . 

_ Alec _ . 

Alec tries to move toward the voice, but something sharp and painful shoots across his thigh, makes his leg twitch. 

_ Stay still _ .

The voice sounds panicked. 

_ Concerned _ and panicked?

Maybe sad. 

Alec’s fingers twitch again, and this time he feels someone else’s hands on his body, something warm and soft against his cheek. He moans again, tries to lean into the touch. 

_ Stop moving for me, Alec. I need you to stay still _ . 

Why?

Alec’s tongue feels heavy. His eyes even more so, but he forces himself to do something about it. 

It’s dark. White. Dark and white. 

_ Slowly _ .  _ Open them slowly. _

The voice is irritating, but Alec does so. Slowly, he opens his eyes. It’s dark and bright. 

His throat makes another noise. 

When he finally makes out the shapes against the brightness, he recognises Clary. 

“‘Ry.”

Clary looks relieved, and it’s the warmth of her gloves that makes Alec relax at her touch. “You’re okay.”

Alec doesn’t feel okay. He tries to say that, makes a garbled noise and shifts his leg. Another lance of pain shoots through his thigh. 

“Stop moving,” Clary snaps, her eyes darting down to Alec’s leg. 

The pain would make more sense if he could  _ feel _ his leg. The pain is obvious, harsh and angry every time he moves, but he can’t feel his leg.

Clary’s throat works as she turns back. “You fell.”

Alec blinks, tries to remember. His head aches, and he feels something sticky and wet against his skin. Blood. 

“‘Nus.”

Silence. 

“He’s coming,” Clary says, her hands and voice shaking. 

Magnus, Alec thinks, is coming. 

Magnus is coming. 

Alec closes his eyes, feels the sharp sting of fingers against his cheek. “Nngh.”

“Sorry,” Clary says, her cheeks flushed, but expression scared. “Please don’t go back to sleep.”

Alec wants to promise he won’t, but his teeth won’t stop chattering and he’s tired. 

Magnus is coming. 

“‘M cold.”

“I know.” Clary sounds almost apologetic. “I’m supposed to start a fire, but I can’t find anything. I know we did that survival class thing but I don’t-”

He can’t feel his face, but he wants to frown. “‘Kay.”

“It’s not,” Clary says, but she lets out a weak, shaky laugh. “Stop trying to comfort me.”

Alec blinks, shakes his head and regrets it. He blinks back the dizziness, and watches Clary rummage around in her pack. 

“I don’t even have water.”

Snow, Alec thinks. They’re surrounded by snow. 

Clary keeps one hand on his face, something he thinks he can feel if he focuses on it hard enough. 

Magnus is coming. 

  
  
  
  
  


“Magnus is coming,” Clary tells him. 

Alec panics. He didn’t sleep. He  _ didn’t _ . 

Clary’s still talking, mouth moving, but Alec doesn’t remember what she was saying.

Something warm flickers next to Alec’s face. 

Fire. 

Clary couldn’t find something to light a fire. 

“Fire,” Alec says, tongue heavy but working. 

“Yes,” Clary says slowly, brow furrowing. “You saw me light it.”

_ I didn’t _ .

Alec doesn’t know what to say. 

“Alec?”

His fingers are tingling. 

Pain is a dull throb in his head, his thigh, his leg. 

Alec turns his face, sees the fire flicker in the periphery of his vision. 

Clary said she couldn’t light a fire. 

“Fire,” he says, tongue heavy. 

“I know.” Clary looks scared, kneels forward, fingers on Alec’s face. “Alec, I told you that.”

“No,” Alec says, unable to tear his eyes away from the fire. “M’cold.”

Clary presses a hand to his face, neck. “You’re burning up.”

“ _ Cold _ ,” Alec stresses. “I want Magnus.”

“Magnus is coming,” Clary tells him. 

Magnus is coming. 

  
  
  
  


Alec’s heart is beating twenty to the dozen.

“Alec!” Clary sounds panicked. 

Alec can’t open his eyes. 

The pain in his thigh is unavoidable.

“Hurts.” 

Alec’s tongue feels alien. 

Magnus is coming. 

  
  
  
  


“-Please don’t do this Alec.” 

A shaky breath. 

“Tell me about Magnus?”

Magnus. 

“Magnus,” Alec says, opening his eyes. 

Clary’s face is wet, her fingers tight on his shoulders. She looks sad, scared, worried. “Yes, Magnus.”

“Date this weekend.” 

Alec remembers Magnus asking, cheeks pink, trailing fingers down Alec’s face, one hand on Alec’s hip. 

Alec remembers agreeing, wanting to spend time with Magnus over the holidays. 

“Missed him,” Alec says. “Miss him.”

“He’s coming,” Clary says, leaning closer. “Jace is probably talking his ear off.”

“Idiot,” Alec agrees. “Never gonna get on.”

“Course they are,” Clary admonishes. “They have you in common, don’t they?”

They do. They both love Alec. Alec loves them. He wants to tell Magnus so. 

“Alec,” Clary says, voice loud in his head. “Stay with me. You were gonna drive back home tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah.” Alec feels his mouth curl into a smile. They loved their friends, but they wanted time. “Not letting Magnus drive.”

Clary laughs, watery and small. “Wouldn’t wanna wreck the car.”

Alec tries to laugh, chest heaving. 

“Alright.” Clary rests a hand on Alec’s chest, fingers close to his neck. “What did you buy him?”

“Private,” Alec says immediately, scowling. 

There’s something relieved about Clary’s smile. “I can still ask, can’t I?”

Alec shakes his head, groans at the dizziness. 

“Please stop doing that,” Clary whispers. “You’re hurt.”

“Magnus is coming.”

“Yeah,” Clary agrees, but there’s something dark in her eyes. “Magnus is coming.”

  
  
  
  


“Ow.”

“I know.” Clary’s doing something to his thigh. “I have to clean it, Alec.”

Alec doesn’t want her to. 

“Hurts.”

“I know.” Clary’s talking through gritted teeth. 

Alec can’t feel her working on his thigh, knows she must be. 

“Please stop.”

“I can’t.”

  
  
  
  


Someone’s touching him.

_ -won’t wake up - _

Pain. 

_ -please be careful- _

Alec wants to  _ go _ . 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Alec.”

Alec’s fingers aren’t tingling. 

He’s warm. 

The pain in his thigh is a dull roar. 

“Hurts.”

“I know, darling.”

Magnus. 

“Magnus.”

There’s a moment’s pause and then fingers in his hair. Familiar fingers. 

Alec lets out a sob. 

“I’m here, my darling.”

“Said you’d come.”

Alec opens his eyes slowly, blinks quickly against the light. 

“I know you did,” Magnus says. Alec watches his mouth move, the lack of makeup, the dark smudges under his eyes. 

“Okay?” Alec asks, fingers weak as he tries to lift them. 

Magnus meets him halfway, clasps their hands together. Alec breathes easier, drinks in the sight of Magnus, who’s looking at him incredulously. “You stabbed yourself in the thigh and you’re asking  _ me _ if I’m okay?”

Oh.

Alec looks down at his covered legs. He blinks. 

Fingers on his chin draw his face back up. “You’re okay,” Magnus tells him slowly. There’s a pinched look on his face. “We got there in time.”

In time. 

Alec shudders. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be an idiot.” Magnus’ grip tightens. “Sleep, darling, I’ll be here.”

“‘Kay,” Alec says. 

Magnus came. 

  
  
  
  


“Hey,” Clary says. 

Her face swims above his vision, but Alec focuses enough. “Clary.”

Clary’s face falls into something like relief. Her fingers are white against the bed. “We brought you back to the cabin. Simon fixed you up.”

Paramedic Simon. Weird, Clary’s Friend Simon. 

“Thanks,” Alec says. He blinks once, twice. “Thank you.”

“You said that,” Clary starts. 

“No. For helping.”

“Oh.” Clary flushes, but nods. “You scared me. I thought you were dying.”

Alec knows that. He did too. “I’m ‘kay.”

Nodding, Clary twists the comforter between her fingers, not looking at Alec’s face. “Magnus was terrified when he found us.”

Alec’s heart aches. He imagines sometimes losing Magnus and  _ can’t _ . 

“Hey,” Clary says abruptly, fingers hovering awkwardly above Alec’s shoulder. “Thanks for not dying.”

Alec huffs something that might be a laugh. “For not letting me.”

It doesn’t make sense, Alec thinks as darkness creeps inward, but Clary smiles anyway, eyes crinkling. 

  
  
  


The next time he wakes, there’s a little more clarity. 

There’s pain in his thigh, an ache in his head every time he moves, but there’s less fuzz. 

Magnus is curled up in the chair next to his bed. The cabin, Alec realises. Bags still piled up in the doorway, dishes in the sink, blankets in a bundle by the door. They’re wet and blood-streaked. Not hard to figure out why. 

Alec shifts in the bed, groans at his aching body. His fingers brush Magnus’ thigh. “Magnus.”

Almost immediately, Magnus comes awake. He still looks dishevelled, panicked, but as soon as he sees Alec awake, something calms. 

“Alec.”

“Sorry I worried you,” Alec says. He’s aware of some things; Clary, pain, the fire. Others, he’s not so sure about. “Not sure I remember much.”

“You had blood poisoning.” Eyes shiny, Magnus unfurls from the chair, leans closer to Alec, fingers on Alec’s cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me you hurt yourself?”

Alec shrugs. “I thought I just cut myself. I didn’t realise it would - I was just collecting wood.”

Jace had dragged Alec out into the woods, an axe over one shoulder, shouting something about being manly. Alec doesn’t even remember hurting himself, only one second he was fine, the next his thigh was cut and bleeding. It hadn’t looked deep. He’d come back to the cabin intent on telling Simon about it, but there’d been marshmallows and movies and  _ Magnus. _

Magnus still looks unhappy. “Why did you go out in a blizzard?”

“Clary and I were only going down to the store. The storm wasn’t even supposed to be that bad.” Alec remembers that at least, tries to capture more snatches of memory. “We were arguing about something,” Magnus looks unsurprised, and Alec gives him an amused smile, “and then the blizzard. If I’d thought we’d get stuck, I’d have called you.”

“I know.” Magnus sighs, runs a hand over his eyes. “I was worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec stresses, pushing up into Magnus’ hands. He looks into Magnus’ eyes for a beat, soaks in the sight of him, the feel of him beneath his hands. Magnus smiles, thumb rubbing gently against Alec’s neck. Closing his eyes, Alec drops his forehead to Magnus’ shoulder. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Fingers start a slow, careful stroke of Alec’s hair, fingers threading gently between strands. Alec loves the touch, thinks after the night in the snow cave, he could crave touch so much more from Magnus. Soft lips press against his temple, his hairline. “I was so worried. I couldn’t find you or Clary.”

“She was great,” Alec admits begrudgingly. “Told me how terrified you were.”

Magnus’ grip tightens. “When we found you, you were - you weren’t conscious and you were so white.”

Alec grips back. There was never any doubt that Magnus would come. Alec’s always been certain about Magnus’ feelings for him, and for his own feelings. They’ve taken a while to get here, but even half-dead and freezing, Alec’s faith never wavered. It never  _ could _ . “Kept telling Clary you’d come.”

“She told me,” Magnus admits. “I was afraid you wouldn’t-”

Make it? Believe I would?

He doesn’t finish, maybe he can’t. 

Alec leans in for a kiss, closes his eyes against the desperation in every movement of their mouths. They came so close to-

“You  _ came _ for me.”

“I did,” Magnus promises, nose bumping Alec’s. “I will.”

Alec doesn’t know if it’s a promise he can always keep, doesn’t care. It’s enough, he thinks, drawing Magnus in for a kiss. It tastes like promise anyway, like relief and wonder and happiness. 

“I love you,” he whispers, lips brushing Magnus’. 

Magnus lets out a soft sound, fingers tight in Alec’s hair. “I love you too.”

This, Alec thinks, will always be enough. 


End file.
